Question: I GAVE MY LIFE TO CHRIST MANY YEARS BACK. BUT I HAVE STILL A EMPTINESS IN MY HEART BECAUSE I WAS GAY. IS IT WRONG TO LONG FOR A SAME SEX PARTNER?
Answered by: LBP Board Member Joni
The Bible teaches us so much about love. It is my opinion that everything we do and say, who we are, who He is, His purpose for our lives, all of it is rooted in love. Love changes things… love is amazing and unfathomable at times as to its depth. So hard to comprehend fully the love of Jesus for us. Do I think that it is wrong to long for a same sex partner? To love someone else completely and wholly, no I do not. Never once did Jesus say it was wrong to love.
I can relate to what you have shared about having a relationship with Christ and still feeling empty inside because you are gay. Gosh has that been my journey as well at many times. I think about James 4:8 “draw near to God and He will draw near to you….” I take this as a promise and I have to tell myself often that God is near whether I feel Him tangibly or not, my faith rises up and I begin to speak truth over myself. When I don’t feel Him near, I know that He is close because He promised to never leave me, to never forsake me. He loves me with an unmeasurable, love that blows my thoughts when I even just begin to think on it. There is nothing we can do to cause Him to love us more or to cause Him to love us any less…. the truth of that is life changing.
What I found on my journey is that the emptiness and ache for Him that I felt, the wall that seemed to be between He and I because I was a lesbian… it was built by me not by Him. As I began to allow His truth, (not man’s opinions and ideas), His love and His presence into my life more and more.. the more I tried to stop the lies of not being good enough, of being disqualified… the more I realized that the wall had begun to crumble and little by little I was knowing the intimacy that I once knew with Him. That void was becoming smaller and smaller.
I still struggle with this from time to time. I think straight Christians struggle with this as well, but not because of their sexuality.
I pray that as you draw near to God that you would tangibly know and see Him drawing near to you. That the walls would come down, that you would accept yourself and love yourself as He accepts and loves you. I pray for deeper truth of His love for you. He has a plan and a purpose for your life and it is good!