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Home / Q & A / How can I open my parents’ eyes to the reality of me being gay?

How can I open my parents’ eyes to the reality of me being gay?

QUESTION: How can I open my parents eyes to the reality of me being gay? I’m 15 and i was raped by my dad’s three oldest sons (from a past relationship) from the ages of 9-14.i told my parents about the abuse in march last year and i was enrolled for group counseling in September where i met the girl of my dreams. Her name is Jordan and she and i have been dating (secretly to our parents, family, and church but exclusively to friends and close, young relatives) we told our parents about us dating a month into our relationship and i was pushed into walls, called names, and kicked out of my house for a few days (until my uncle persuaded them to let me come back) my phone was taken away from me and i was told not to have any contact with Jordan. She and i really dont know how to deal with our parents when all they want is to keep us apart. Can you help?

Answered by: Kori Ashton

Many who are LGBT have experienced the hurt of our parents and those we love not understand or not approving our relationships.  However, respecting our parents is one of the “Top Ten” commandments.  We need to honor our parents’ rules and counsel, especially when it lines up with the Bible.

If you feel as though your relationship with Jordan is healthy and honors God, then pray that He’ll keep your hearts for each other through this tough time. The way you respond to your folks shows them your Christian heart.  So try to respect them in your conversations and attitude.  If they see your respectful heart, they might turn a softer approach to you and try to begin to understand that you are gay.

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2 comments

  1. Hang in there…it really does get better. When you’re of age (you might consider emancipation) it might be a good idea to shed your family…or at least part of it. Being raped by your stepbrothers is not part of being a normal, functional family, and I can’t think what good you would learn from staying there. Best wishes, hon.

  2. Before all else, I see that you mentioned “church.” I was wondering what you think “church” is to you and how it is impacting your life right now.

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